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 etting divorced was not part of my long term plan. It was not even my idea. I guess I never realized that it takes only one partner's wish to make a divorce happen. And it took me a long time to realize it was happening to me.
What's most amazing to me is that I now know that
my divorce was one of the best things that ever happened
to me! It was also the worst and certainly one of the
most painful things that ever happened to me. Because
I am a writer, I looked to the printed word for help
in
dealing with what felt like the end my life. I found
help
here and there from many sources, ideas to help me cope,
etc.
I decided early on that I would put together the kind of book I had looked
for in those dark, difficult days. My book was not published until the sixth
anniversary of my divorce so it contained wisdom I gained from hindsight. That
is what you'll find in my book and I think you will find it helpful.
÷ Vicki |
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The Voice of Experience
DIVORCE: 10 THINGS
YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU (click here)
For
anyone who hasn't been divorced, trust me÷divorce is never
what you imagine it to be. Here are a few insights that
may hopefully save you a trip to court÷ or at the very
least, give you some idea of what may lie ahead. I know
everything listed in this article might not apply to everybody
(there's always going to be the exception to the rule)
but it covers most of us.
÷Vicki
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A KoKo Bear WORRY
DOLL
for children
to help with divorce or any issue causing anxiety!
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KOKO
BEAR DOLL
Lovable KoKo comes to life as an 8" plush bear, with a
tee shirt, jeans, and a back-pack. Kids can write down
or draw pictures of their worries and put them in KoKo's
back-pack. KoKo will carry those worries for your child.
It's very difficult to for a child to carry worries around
all alone. KoKo can be purchased alone or in a vinyl carrying
case with a copy of IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, KOKO BEAR. $19.95
KoKo Bear "WORRY DOLL" (alone) $12.95
(Call 1-800-255-3379 to order.)
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Add
to shopping cart |
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$19.95 |
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IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, KOKO BEAR:
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Children 3-7 will identify with this unisex bear's angry and sad feelings and what it means to live in a divorced family. Helpful messages are conveyed with a bit of humor. Each page has tips for parents too. Written for children whose parents intend to stay involved in parenting after divorce. 32 pages. Full color. 7x7. |
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Add
to shopping cart |
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$7.99 |
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Click here to see and print out helpful quotes to clip and post when coping with divorce.
(To print the page you may need to reduce your
page set up to 80%.) |
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Attention
attorneys, therapists, mediators, court and social services.
There
is a discount price available when ordering 9 or more
copies of the two divorce books, each title or combined:
50% off the retail price. Prepay with a check (made
out to BOOK PEDDLERS) or credit card. Call 1-800-255-3379
or fax your order to 952-544-1153.
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am proud to say that my Divorce Book For Parents
has received some incredible reviews, including a wonderful
one from the New York Times. But it is the one from the
judge in California, Being Proper Parents to Your Children
After Separating, that has touched my heart the most
and the one for which I will be forever grateful. It's
one thing to have an idea of what you want your book to
be and it's quite another to have someone else confirm
that you've hit the mark.
÷Vicki
REVIEW from A Domestic Relations Reading List:
BEING PROPER PARENTS TO YOUR CHILDREN
AFTER SEPARATING
If you have children make this the first book from this list you read. In fact, do not go home from court today without stopping by a /bookstore and buying one - - no, make that two as both parents will need one. The $7 you invest in the paperback edition will bring greater returns than any other money that has ever left your wallet. You will save thousands of dollars on attorney fees, and you will save your children from becoming victims of divorce. Throughout the book Ms. Lansky quickly makes important points in headline type. Some of my favorites include: DIVORCES DON'T WRECK CHILDREN'S LIVES- PEOPLE DO! and YOU CAN'T PUSH ANYONE TOWARDS YOU.
If you have a friend or relative who is thinking about separating give them a copy. The early chapters of the book deal with the all-important subject of how parents should go about telling their children that they have decided to separate and how to handle the difficulties of the day when the separation actually takes place. The next chapter covers children's emotional reactions to the news based on their developmental ages.
One of the most important chapters in the book is "Words Matter: Learning 'Divorce Speak'" which spells out the damaging things parents can do to their children in the midst of divorce by the things they say and the way they say them. Ms. Lansky includes lists of the right way and the wrong way to say things to, and in front of your children, how to communicate with your ex-spouse, how to handle a situation where one of you refuses to communicate, and to develop a new kind of parenting partnership after separation to build on for the rest of the children's lives. As Ms. Lansky points out, "UNLIKE MARRIAGE, MOST DIVORCES DO LAST FOREVER."
There is a chapter summarizing the legal process and issues in a divorce, and chapters you will definitely want to read on the various ways of structuring children's living arrangements. She concludes with a chapter, "Looking Down the Road," full of a variety of topics which include personal adjustment, work, school, holidays, dating and sex, and having religious closure within your belief system.
-Review and recommendation by Richard A. Curtis, Court Commissioner, Superior Court Los Angeles County
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